Sunday, August 12, 2012

ASS Gurus help friends of SS attendees

So, I had this interesting note come across my desk over here at the Alternate Sewing Summit headquarters and I am glad that I am the one who gets to address it.


Dear Guru Danny,

I am coming to Sewing Summit but will not be attending the classes. I am coming along with my friend who will be attending, but I’m more or less just along for the ride. Do you have any advice for me to make Sewing Summit an enjoyable experience?

Shane in Chicago



Dear Shane,

The only way your experience will be enjoyable is if you make your friend’s life easier during the trip. Luckily for you, I have come up with a great list of ideas to make you the best assistant ever!

Fabric flashcards. Start now. Discuss with your friend which lines he/she will be searching for on the shop hop and memorize them. Their color. Their design. Their coordinating prints. You’ll need to know whether you are looking at a Michael Miller Dumb Dot or an Art Gallery Oval Elements and you had better come with that Kona Color Card in tow, because if you rush inside a shop to grab up all the Charcoal they have in stock and you end up with Medium Grey, you are going to be in the dog house, for sure.

Speaking of rushing into a shop, you will need to come prepared to use yourself as a human battering ram, forcefully shoving all those other shop hoppers out of the way so you can be the first through the door. I recommend bringing a helmet for the occasional head-butt and elbow pads to keep your joints safe from the jaws you are sure to crush in. You have no other purpose but to make your friend’s life easier, remember? That includes taking on some unavoidable injuries.

Also, since you’re in the shops anyway, be a gentleman. Fold the fabric back onto the bolt correctly and replace it where you found it. These shops were gracious enough to offer amazing discounts to shop hoppers. Don’t let some sloppy mishap of grabbing the wrong bolt and dropping it to the ground be the reason they don’t offer the discount next year, kay?

You should also be training already with a weighted backpack. Don’t have one? Throw a couple bowling balls into a Jansport. Maybe even a small child (leave the top open so they can breathe, of course. We’re not heathens here). You should be able to hike 20 miles, up hill, with 50-75 pounds of weight in tow to be truly prepared for Sewing Summit. You will carry purses and bags of fabric and boxes of food left over from restaurants, and you must do it all with a smile and with minimal sweat, because let’s face it: Sweat is gross and we don’t want it anywhere near our fabric. You can sweat on your own stuff on your own time.

A great idea would be to offer to rent a car for the duration of your trip at Sewing Summit. “How kind he is” all the ladies will think, and who knows. Being such a charming, selfless and thoughtful person might win you some major brownie points with your “friend”. Buy her some Field Study and you may just end up leaving Sewing Summit with new titles. *nudge, nudge* *wink, wink*

Having a vehicle will have other perks, too. Like giving you the freedom to explore Salt Lake City (which really is a very beautiful city) while your friend learns all about picking fabrics for projects or piecing curves. Refer to Guru Laura’s post here to see where all the fun is happening in Salt Lake. But make sure you get back in time for lunch. Your friend will be expecting you to chauffer her and her friends off to grab some grub.

You can think of your position here as a “caddy” or “Maid of Honor”, if you will. You are solely playing a supporting role.

So, if you know of any other spouses, friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, or endentured servants attending alongside someone else, be sure to send this list on to them so they can prepare themselves for what Sewing Summit has in store!

Guru Danny

As always, we need questions!! Please send us some questions to answer!

Danny

2 comments:

  1. If someone flies me over there I will happily be an indentured servent for the duration.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hahaha that is too funny! I can imagine a guy all dolled up in a rugby/american football outfit! I'm sure he'll never want to attend a summit again after reading all those suggestions =D

    ReplyDelete

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