Clearly, I have been delusional.
Since Clara's birth, I have been operating under the assumption that after all the pep talks I gave her in utero, Clara has decided to sleep through the night every night for me. It started with our hospital stay. Clara slept nearly the entire time we resided in room 319. That is where my hopes started to build. For the first two weeks of life, Little Mazer slept soundly, waking only once per night completely ravenous. I would feed her cautiously (caution is the best approach for breast feeding moms) and lie her back in her crib where she would unquestioningly lull herself back into slumber with her cute little gurgles and whimpers. It was as I started to expect this behavior that change found us. Week three had begun!
This third week has been exhausting. No longer do I have the luxury of telling people, "oh yes, I am very tired. Clara only slept seven hours straight last night." No. Now I am on the opposite spectrum, that of the mothers with colicky children and whose alleys harbor stray cats who scream at each other in the moonlight. Now, I understand what it means to be sleep deprived, and it is not the same deprivation that comes from staying up late playing video games or having water balloon fights at midnight at summer camp. This is an entirely new sensation.
Clara has decided that she no longer wants to be put down, that her little tush is too valuable to be strewn among brightly colored blankets and sheets with little foxes on them. Instead she feels the necessity to lie on a bed of human flesh, something far more posh than the animated cotton stock lining the bed we've arranged for her. I've tried letting Clara cry herself to sleep, but it appears as though she has inherited her mother's stubbornness and would rather cry to make her point than give in and sleep soundly in her very expensive crib. My engineer husband, who does NOT have to get up with Clara, has made it clear that I am to stick to the schedule he so graciously designed, color coded, and printed for me from Microsoft Excel. The problem is, Mazer didn't get his memo, or if she did, she's choosing to ignore it.
So, this post is for those of you who have been sticking pins in your little Danny themed dolls. The gods have heard your cries and I am being initiated into mommyhood the correct way. You win.
Girl, you're doing great. And it's true, the sleep exhaustion is a fancy little club that only mummies know. You will now also experience the pure irritaion/cynicism that comes with non minnows comparing a lesser experience to yours! Take heart, it passes... And for now, you're strong and able!! ;)
ReplyDeleteAs the days progress it will get easier, she will soon want only her blankets and crib that were so carefully picked out for her. Try to get as much sleep as you can, don't worry about all the other household stuff right now, that's what Brent is for ;) You and Clara just need to get used to each other. It will get easier as she gets older, but there are just challenges that occur with every stage. Try to delight in this infant stage she's in, because in all sincerity, it passes much too quickly.
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