Brianne's Quilt

Do you ever have one of those days? You know the ones. Where you have to make an emergency run to Walgreens in your sweat pants and you are praying to every god you can think of that you don't run into somebody you know?

I had one of those days last weekend.

Having taught at one of the local high schools, I usually know every kid working the car washes on any given weekend and of course, on that weekend, the weekend of the baggy sweatpants and ridiculous top knot ponytail, there was a car wash at Walgreens. I snuck inside praying no one from the car wash would make eye contact and lure me in. I didn't have the money for a car wash anyway. After I bought what I needed (teething tablets for the baby), I quickly walked past the car washers to my car, but on my way I saw the sign: Car Wash for 6 Year Old with Leukemia.

Really, God? Really?

I got in my car, turned on the air and sat there. I looked like I got into a fight with the garbage disposal. I'm not entirely sure I had brushed my teeth. I definitely didn't have deodorant on. But I couldn't just let this go.

I got out of the car and trudged over to the car wash in my "I-swear-I'll-only-wear-these-to-check-the-mail-in" flip flops. The first person I spoke with was Brianne's grandma and she filled me in on her story. She's a 6 year old little girl. Loves to dance. Full of life. Has leukemia. She's been getting chemo treatments for only three months and the average battle lasts two years. I told her about little Caleb and that I would make Brianne a quilt.









I was having issues with my camera but I wanted to post these anyway so I could get this quilt ready to be delivered.

If you would like more information on Brianne's journey, you can find information at www.briannesbrigade.com.

I am in the process of putting together a blog for Comfort Quilters where you can read the stories and see the quilts we make, but until that blog is created, I feel it's important I share these events with you. It's part of who I am. A large part.

Obviously I was pulled out of my comfort zone and I very nearly didn't get out of my car that day, but I am so glad I did. Sometimes the greatest things can happen when you take a risk, no matter how small.

The blog is under construction, but if you would like to help now, we are collecting fabric donations. Without donations, our little group wouldn't be able to make people like Brianne a quilt. We take all fabric (JoAnn, Hobby Lobby, Designer, quilt shop quality). If you have anything you would like to donate to a good cause, let me know! I've already had a few of my bloggy friends send me some goodies that we have used in our new quilts!

Grammar-Rock

Today is a day of celebration in my family. April 12th. Clara Faye's birthday.

My Clara Faye. My grandmother. My Grammar-Rock.

I had a special kind of relationship with my grandma, one that cannot easily be explained here. Typed words scrawled across the screen in Helvetica just seems so crude. Our bond was much more magical than that.

She taught me how to fly like Peter Pan. She taught me that the only appropriate way to eat Cheerios was covered in sugar. She taught me the importance of church, and taught me that it is okay to ditch if you get to the parking lot and realize you've forgotten to put on your skirt (which she did on more than one occasion!) She taught me to sing. To paint. To sew. She taught me two scoops are always better than one when it comes to pistachio ice cream and she taught me the value of black and white films. She was my favorite person in the whole wide world.

I remember when she taught me to sew. I was the lead in a school play and needed a costume. I hadn't ever really seen her sew before that moment. It was all so new to me and I'm sure I was much more of a hinderance than a help in those days. She was patient with me, showing me how to read a pattern and lay the fabric just right. She had me try on a newspaper mock-up of the costume and I threaded the needle for her failing eyes. She made me a few more costumes over the years and a few dresses that this tomboy hated to wear in public, but secretly adored. I remember I would put them on and twirl around my room, usually tripping over my soccer cleats and stinky locker room junk. I loved the novelty daisy print and gold rick rack trim, but I would never admit it! I was heart broken when I outgrew the dresses and my mom gave them away.

We didn't land on sewing for too long. My Grammar was an artist and she moved on quickly from one medium to the next. She decoupaged. She painted ceramics. She made porcelain dolls. And always she let me join her, instructing me on the appropriate way to hold my brush or how to get the perfect consistency of stain to fill into the cracks of the piece.

Christmas 2006

In December 2006, she was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. She had a steady decline from there. She yellowed. She withered. My beautiful, strong Grammar was suddenly not. She moved in with my parents and I quit my job to take her to chemo and radiation treatments. She bought me a purple sequined hat and I wore it. Always. I didn't care what people thought of my outrageous get-up because it made her happy. We spent a lot of time together in those last days, which ended up being more than we thought we'd have. She died August 13, 2007, a whole 8 months after her first diagnosis. It was a wonderful gift to have her with us for so long, especially when fighting such a terrible, monster of a disease.

When Brent and I found out we were pregnant with a little girl, there was no question: Her name would be Clara. Clara Mae. My sweet little Clara Mae. Grammar would have loved to kiss her cheeks and make her popcorn and stay up tickling her back until she fell asleep, but Grammar was gone long before Miss Maze was even THOUGHT of.

I miss my Grammar immensely, but on April 12th, ever year, I like to remember how much fun she was; drudge up old memories of our times together lest they disappear.

I hope you don't mind that I shared.

After she died, I asked Brent to buy me a sewing machine. I struggled trying to remember how to thread the stupid thing, how to make it stop going SO FAST, how to keep my fingers out from underneath the little silver needle of death! My MIL helped me a lot in those early days as I relearned an old skill that I had never really taken the time to master. I began sewing with a goal in mind: Comfort Quilters. The group started up just after Grammar's death. I would have loved to make a quilt for her with words of encouragement scripted onto each block. Would have loved for her to have something special to keep her warm when those doctors shot the ice cold chemo through her veins, quite literally chilling her to the bone.

I hate cancer. It's a worthless, pointless, terrible monster. I know I can't cure it. I know I have the emotional depth of a goldfish so I know I'm not a good counselor. But I know I can sew, and while it's not much, it's my only tangible skill. So I sew. I quilt. I make blankets that keep all the beautiful, courageous people fighting cancer warm while they get infused with their superhuman strength serum! I let them know they are not alone in the only way I know how. I let them know they are loved.

This post has taken a very different turn from my original idea, but I kind of like where it ended up.

Thank you to everyone who has sent your positive vibes, kind thoughts and prayers to Caleb and Cooper. Thank you to everyone who has donated to Comfort Quilters. Thank you to everyone who reads this blog and actually read all the way down to the end of this post written about someone you will never meet.

I love you all!

And, for those of you interested in what I do with Comfort Quilters, I will be sharing ways you can get involved and help within the next couple months, so keep an eye out.

Now, I'm off to enjoy this beautiful spring day with my Clara Mae. I hope you go outside and enjoy it too!

My Eyes Hurt

I just finished quilting this rainbow quilt (I call it the Pride quilt... shhh!) I was getting mesmerized by the fabric! SO. MUCH. COLOR.

This is another Comfort Quilters quilt, and just so you know, I do NOT pick the fabrics!

Comfort Quilters

I have no tangible skills.

Sure, I can manipulate a spreadsheet and databases don't scare me, but if technology were to go away tomorrow, I would have no real skills (not even nunchuck skills or computer hacking skills) to share with society. I knew I would be quitting my job once the baby was born, so I wanted to find some way to be of use; to be a helper in society, rather than just a taker. So, I took a quilting class. I already loved to sew and I loved how quilts looked and felt... Boy is quilting a LOT more work than I thought it would be!

Even though I don't have an impressive resume, I have become obsessed with quilting! I pin hundreds of cool tutorials on quilting and I save pictures of pretty quilts to my computer knowing that SOMEDAY I will be able to create such beautiful blankets.

Lucky for me, the Comfort Quilters took me in with no questions asked. I was worried at first, knowing I was a rookie, but that didn't matter to them. Now, every other Friday, we get together to drink coffee, chat, and quilt, and I couldn't be more excited they've let me be a part of their ministry.

The Comfort Quilters are a group of people who create quilts for people suffering from terrible illnesses. Most of our quilts go to people who have cancer, but we give them to anyone who asks for one. We are having a large quilting bee on Friday, November 11th from 9am to 5pm at Crossroads Nazerene Church in Chandler, AZ if anyone is interested to come help out. You don't have to know how to quilt. You just have to be willing to learn!